Pregnancy loss in twin or triplet pregnancies is more common than in a singleton pregnancy. Multiple pregnancies carry more risks, meaning complications can occur which can result in miscarriage or stillbirth.

 

 

You may feel a complex range of emotions if you've lost one of your babies. These emotions may feel unexpected. Here are some emotions which other parents have shared with us that they've felt:

• Feeling torn between grieving for your dead twin or triplet(s)and allowing yourself to feel joy for the birth of your surviving baby or babies.
• Feeling angry that the experience of having twins or triplets has been taken away from you.
• The loss of a family life you thought you were going to have.
• Blaming yourself for what happened or a sense of shame.
• A sense of loneliness and a worry that you won't be able to bond with your surviving twin or triplet(s).
• A loss of trust in life and your body and a continuing sense of loss about what the future holds.
• Feeling out of control - worrying that this amount of grief cannot be normal and if you will ever feel the same again.
• Worrying about how you're going to cope caring for your surviving twin or triplet(s) when your heart is breaking for the twin or triplet(s) who've died.

 

 

Seeing and holding your baby after they've died

If one or more of your babies die after 14 weeks, you may be able to see them, if you wish. If your baby has grown enough and the loss happened in hospital, you may be asked if you’d like to hold them and dress them. Although this may feel upsetting, many parents say they do not regret making the decision to see their baby.

If you are unsure if you want to do this, talk to your midwife or doctor. They can describe your baby, take a photograph first and support you until you’re ready to make a decision.

You may wish to contact the charity Remember My Baby. They offer a free gift of baby remembrance photography for parents who have experienced the death of their baby.

Contact Remember My Baby

 

 

Questions you may find helpful to ask at hospital

It might be difficult to know what decisions to make and what questions to ask; below are some ideas and questions to support you to do what feels right for you and your family:

• If you'd like to spend time with your babies and hold them, you may want to ask how long will I have? Will I be given a private room?
• If the hospital makes memory boxes, what sort of things do they include? Some ideas for a memory box: ultrasound scan, wrist tags, locks of hair, cot cards, birth notes, photos of your babies, photos of yourself pregnant (even if you didn't know you were pregnant, or look pregnant), favourite baby clothes or blanket, birth and death certificates, any cards received.
• Does the hospital make hand and footprints?
• Does the hospital have a memorial book?
• Would you like any family members to visit your babies and would the hospital allow this?
• If you're considering a post-mortem, perhaps explore with the hospital what the process is and how long you may have to wait for the results to come back.

 

Registering your baby's death

We have information to support you with registering your babies' deaths as well as Twins Trust certificates of birth, which have been designed for our baby loss community.

 

Planning a funeral

We have information and support on the practicalities of planning a funeral for your babies.

Planning a funeral