Pregnancy loss in twin or triplet pregnancies is more common than in a singleton pregnancy. Multiple pregnancies carry more risks, meaning complications can occur which can result in miscarriage or stillbirth.
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Bringing home a twin baby or one or two triplet babies after experiencing the loss of their sibling(s) can be a complex and emotional journey for parents with unique challenges and mixed emotions.
Dealing with complex emotions
It's normal to experience many emotions as you welcome your surviving twin or triplet(s) home. You may feel joy and gratitude for their arrival, alongside grief and sadness for the twin or triplet(s) who died. When babies die in hospital, parents can feel confused and find it difficult leaving the hospital - the only home their baby ever knew. Leaving the safety of the hospital and leaving behind the doctors and nurses who knew your twin or triplet(s) can make you feel extremely torn.
Find comfort in our online communities
You may feel a deep sense of loneliness as friends and family may find it hard to understand the complex emotions of bringing one twin or one or two triplets home after the loss of their sibling(s). Friends and family may not always know what to say. This can bring heartache and anger, leading to feelings of isolation. It can be helpful to connect with others who've experienced similar loss. Twins Trust has online support communities, a safe space for families.
Bonding with your surviving twin or triplet(s)
Grieving for your twin baby or one or two of your triplets who have died can make it painful to celebrate the joy of bringing your surviving twin or surviving triplet(s) home. Bonding while grieving is a journey that can take time and patience.
It's natural to feel a sense of deep loss and longing for the twin or triplet(s) who died. Be gentle with yourself. Some parents feel guilt or shame when one twin or one or two triplets have died, questioning why one twin or one or two triplets lived and the other(s) didn't. This can lead to self-blame. Some parents fear they won't be able to provide the same level of love and care to their surviving twin or triplet(s) while processing their grief.
Remember
All these feelings are common; by acknowledging and addressing them, it can help start the healing process and give you the emotional space to bond with your surviving twin or triplet(s).
Professional support
Caring for a surviving twin or triplet(s) while grieving the death of their sibling(s) can present unique challenges. Some parents find it helpful to seek support from a counsellor or therapist who specialises in grief and loss.
A professional can offer guidance and coping strategies to help you navigate the complexities of grieving while caring for your newborn. Professional support can help if you, your partner or both of you are struggling to cope, finding it hard to function in your daily life or you're struggling to find meaning in your life. Sometimes grief can tip over into anxiety and/or depression or other mental health concerns.
Counselling can offer tools and techniques to manage these symptoms and improve your well-being. Remember, there's no shame in seeking support. Counselling can be a valuable resource in helping you navigate your grief and find a path towards healing. The BACP website can help you find an accredited counsellor in your area.
BACP accredited services directory
